The Search for my Gurudev

After reading the Bhagavad Gita as it is, I understand why my heart was always searching. I was searching for my Gurudev.

Before this I thought my heart was searching for someone to be my the other half. But it never felt I have found it. Now looking back I was happy I did not settle down with anyone of them. If I have I would not be happy as it is not what I was searching for.

After many years a friend asked do you want to met my Gurudev, we are going to welcome him at the airport. I just replied why not what is there to loose. I went, saw their Gurudev, but my heart was just neutral. Later that day, they asked are you interested in taking him up as my Gurudev. I asked I am not qualified to be anyone disciple, if he is okay, I am okay. This great soul, their Gurudev said yes he will take me as his disciple. We prepared ourself for the great day, the great day was tomorrow at 6am.

The next day at 6am the process went smoothly, this where I have the name Lilavathy. Lilavathy is my spiritual name given to me by my Gurudev. Of course there are principles that I have to follow, 1) no meat eating, 2) no intoxication, 3) no illicit sex, 4) no gambling and 5) had to chant the Maha Mantra 64X16time a day. I was very supprised how my new found Gurudev know that I was a naughty person. He told me not to be naughty, I will know, I will hit you on the head. I will give you your next initiation when I see you next year. The second initiation is where the final bond to my Gurudev.

The first initiation, did not stop that search in my heart but the second initiation in Hong Kong makes the different. After the second initiation, my heart stop searching, then I know I have found my Gurudev. My gurudev is the great Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja.

I read more on my Gurudev, from his books, his lectures. I learned to know and love my Gurudev slowly. The important thing for me was the search in my heart had stop. I know the way I met my Gurudev, is like weird, how can I take someone you don't know.

After the second initiation, slowly with the mantra given, my heart started to mellow down. I find peace within me. Things that was important was slowly not important.

Now in my life there are two tracks, one is the material track and another the spiritual track. Now the material track is moving faster than the spiritual track. I hope one day the spiritual track will move faster than the material track and slowly slowly the material track will only move at first gear.