Got a SMS from someone asking for tea at one of the restaurant nearby before evening program starts. When I read the SMS, I thought so nice of her asked me out for tea. I called her telling I cannot make it there so fast maybe postpone to some other days.
While chatting on the phone, found that she wanted to ask me on a room why it was like broken in. Of course we chat on other things too. I told her I have no idea why the room is like that, she replied, Oh you don't know, who know ahhhh. I told her I have to hang up cos I need to go.....
Aiyah, want to have tea with me because want to dig information from me. I told myself, next time this person invite me for tea, water or coffee, not going.
Small thing only mah, why so irritated. At night before going to sleep I wanted to charge my handphone. I noticed a SMS from this lady I had missed. I open the SMS, it said so you had been listening to Asha Katha, nevermind about the tea. I was like what the meaning..........
I have to be carefull what I say or said. But this lady is funny anything to do with this KK she must know........ But when wrong accusation is throw at KK, she will not tell the person off even she know it is not the right accusation..... Haiyah sen! meet this type of people. Tired!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Big Lawyer have 1 sen common sense or none at all
Yesterday only I found out why temple big lawyer was not talking to me. When I found out I was very irritated and asked whether she had brain or not or rather simple common sense.
The reason for not talking to me, was that I deleted her husband, sister-in-law's husband and brother-in-law email-id from the email list which my god-sister use to forward temple programs or news on Maharaj arrival. My god-sister email-id and password which is not shared only she had the password. How am I going to delete all these email-id from the list? Never cross my mind I does magic or able to hack into my god-sister email list. Doesn't she see that all the email send had been and still is send by our god-sister (I wonder she regards us as god-sister), and BCC to everyone.
Why go and assume, why don't the lawyer just asked why her family member is not recieving any email from my god-sister. Just politely asked, people will compare whether there had been a change of email-id or their in-box had been so full and never bother to clear. Sender just delete the email away, since they don't have the time to read why send.
After a few hours, in the evening thinking over it. Me not a graduate have better common sense than a graduate and a big lawyer. I wonder how she fight or present her case in court. I pity the client that have her as their lawyer. Is she thinking others have no brain only she has, they believed what she said. Look like it's proof that "Lawyers are liars".
I thought we are all god-brothers and sister, having the same guru, we don't have to play games, like in the outside world. Look like not....having spend more than 6 years in the temple with them, I find that I can get better friends outside the temple compare to them. At least they are more genuine.
Well, last year 2009, after my 5 months assignment in Bangkok, more than half a year I did not show up in the temple. I noticed this big lawyer was avoiding me, I give her a Haribol the respond was Oh you ahhhhh! I was like when did I step on their tail, I asked my god-sister, what happened she also don't know as she was also not talking to her. Away for so many months also can step on her tail. Must have a long tail that stretch from KL to BKK.
I wonder why all these senior disciples like this one leh! Angin! Angin one lah. Mix with them too much can siao......
Asked us junior or new comers to respect them, how to respect....aiyoh someone tell me how to respect.....
Now I goes to temple only when Maharaj comes..... otherwise stay clear of that place.
Crazy! Gila! Siao lang! I want to go to sleep now.
The reason for not talking to me, was that I deleted her husband, sister-in-law's husband and brother-in-law email-id from the email list which my god-sister use to forward temple programs or news on Maharaj arrival. My god-sister email-id and password which is not shared only she had the password. How am I going to delete all these email-id from the list? Never cross my mind I does magic or able to hack into my god-sister email list. Doesn't she see that all the email send had been and still is send by our god-sister (I wonder she regards us as god-sister), and BCC to everyone.
Why go and assume, why don't the lawyer just asked why her family member is not recieving any email from my god-sister. Just politely asked, people will compare whether there had been a change of email-id or their in-box had been so full and never bother to clear. Sender just delete the email away, since they don't have the time to read why send.
After a few hours, in the evening thinking over it. Me not a graduate have better common sense than a graduate and a big lawyer. I wonder how she fight or present her case in court. I pity the client that have her as their lawyer. Is she thinking others have no brain only she has, they believed what she said. Look like it's proof that "Lawyers are liars".
I thought we are all god-brothers and sister, having the same guru, we don't have to play games, like in the outside world. Look like not....having spend more than 6 years in the temple with them, I find that I can get better friends outside the temple compare to them. At least they are more genuine.
Well, last year 2009, after my 5 months assignment in Bangkok, more than half a year I did not show up in the temple. I noticed this big lawyer was avoiding me, I give her a Haribol the respond was Oh you ahhhhh! I was like when did I step on their tail, I asked my god-sister, what happened she also don't know as she was also not talking to her. Away for so many months also can step on her tail. Must have a long tail that stretch from KL to BKK.
I wonder why all these senior disciples like this one leh! Angin! Angin one lah. Mix with them too much can siao......
Asked us junior or new comers to respect them, how to respect....aiyoh someone tell me how to respect.....
Now I goes to temple only when Maharaj comes..... otherwise stay clear of that place.
Crazy! Gila! Siao lang! I want to go to sleep now.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Parikrama 2010
Had been back from Navadvipa, already a week now. Was very tired, the first thing I got home was bath and wash my hair. Can you believe it the water from my hair was brown. Imagine the amount of dust collect during the 4 hours to Kolkata airport in a no aircon taxi or AC that's what India called it.
Actually you can pack food on AirAsia flight. I saw people with children pack cakes and drinks, they were eating on board. I remember, when I was travelling with my mother, the air stewardess was very strick, tell the passenger no food allowed on board.
This year Parikrama, the feeling was different from last year. Last year had walk for 3 days but the leg was not hurting so much. This year the leg don't seem to listen to me, was having cramp. But manage to walk for 2 days, to Mayapur and Navadvipa. the rest cover by taxi. Of course shared with other god-sister.
1st day parikrama i was look at those in the taxi. I asked myself why I can't take the taxi, that evening my roommate decided to get a taxi for next day parikrama, which is Nrshmapali. The place is far and the crowds was terrible, so much of pushing. Lucky we leave early to Nrshmapali where Lord Nrshma was his nails after killing the demon.
No doubt I finished my parikrama, but I am inspired to do one on leg, maybe next year. Will exercise more, build my leg muscles. With Srila Gurudev's mercy, hopefully I can make it to Navadvipa every year.
Last year only 3 of us went, we called ourselves the 3L, Lalita, Laxman and Lilavathy. This year there were 16 of us. A 6 from up north and 10 from central. Due to the cheap airticket to from KL to Kolkata by AirAsia most can afford to go. The best thing is fly direct.
I remember we had a hard time at the BKK airport as we need to transit at BKK to reach Kolkata. It was mid-night and having to wait for 2 hours and the flight was delayed. When we reach Navadvipa it was 3.30am, standing in front of Srila Gurudev's temple waiting for daylight to come. Lucky the landlord was a nice person, he waited for us. We quickly got ourself settle, and sleep!
More people will be more excitment.
On the first day of parikrama, was to Mayapur. We (3 of us) started an hour early (before Mahaprahu starts his parikrama) taking our sweet. When we finished our temple visiting we were faraway from the pier. My god-sister find the ricksaw too expensive, and I was kind of fedup bargaining over the price. I said last year I took the bus, it kind of exciting. You push with the locals. One of my god-sister was too frighten to take as she saw passengers sitting on top of the bus. After an hour waiting have no choice got into one that comes by. There were hardly any space at the door. We pushed ourselves up. I got up, I saw one of my god-sister was holding very tightly but the other was like where to hold. So I hold on her and another hand was pushing at the window. So when the bus sway to the right we will not be throw out of the door. Actually it was like the minibus days. The ride was only 4 rupees per person.
The rest of the days was ok not much excitment but when we were booking our taxi ride to cover 2 days parikrama in 1 day. One of my god-sister was......me cool person find her irritating. Another god-sister was having a headache I thought she was going to blow. I thought there will be a war of words. Lucky nothing happened, all managed to keep calm.
I noticed when you are feeling calm and bliss from your stay there. If not careful someone can just come and spoil it. Who we go with share room is very important.
I noticed one of my god-sister, when she is all stress up, she cannot think straight. Every year she goes there and yet she cannot find her way to her siksa guru samadi place. Anyway I found out that the Ganges river was nearby. But she will not own up that she had a bad sense of direction.
The dip at the Ganges river was good, make a person feel fresh, all the heat from the body is like Ganges Devi just took it.
Hopefully next year I will find time to go again.
Actually you can pack food on AirAsia flight. I saw people with children pack cakes and drinks, they were eating on board. I remember, when I was travelling with my mother, the air stewardess was very strick, tell the passenger no food allowed on board.
This year Parikrama, the feeling was different from last year. Last year had walk for 3 days but the leg was not hurting so much. This year the leg don't seem to listen to me, was having cramp. But manage to walk for 2 days, to Mayapur and Navadvipa. the rest cover by taxi. Of course shared with other god-sister.
1st day parikrama i was look at those in the taxi. I asked myself why I can't take the taxi, that evening my roommate decided to get a taxi for next day parikrama, which is Nrshmapali. The place is far and the crowds was terrible, so much of pushing. Lucky we leave early to Nrshmapali where Lord Nrshma was his nails after killing the demon.
No doubt I finished my parikrama, but I am inspired to do one on leg, maybe next year. Will exercise more, build my leg muscles. With Srila Gurudev's mercy, hopefully I can make it to Navadvipa every year.
Last year only 3 of us went, we called ourselves the 3L, Lalita, Laxman and Lilavathy. This year there were 16 of us. A 6 from up north and 10 from central. Due to the cheap airticket to from KL to Kolkata by AirAsia most can afford to go. The best thing is fly direct.
I remember we had a hard time at the BKK airport as we need to transit at BKK to reach Kolkata. It was mid-night and having to wait for 2 hours and the flight was delayed. When we reach Navadvipa it was 3.30am, standing in front of Srila Gurudev's temple waiting for daylight to come. Lucky the landlord was a nice person, he waited for us. We quickly got ourself settle, and sleep!
More people will be more excitment.
On the first day of parikrama, was to Mayapur. We (3 of us) started an hour early (before Mahaprahu starts his parikrama) taking our sweet. When we finished our temple visiting we were faraway from the pier. My god-sister find the ricksaw too expensive, and I was kind of fedup bargaining over the price. I said last year I took the bus, it kind of exciting. You push with the locals. One of my god-sister was too frighten to take as she saw passengers sitting on top of the bus. After an hour waiting have no choice got into one that comes by. There were hardly any space at the door. We pushed ourselves up. I got up, I saw one of my god-sister was holding very tightly but the other was like where to hold. So I hold on her and another hand was pushing at the window. So when the bus sway to the right we will not be throw out of the door. Actually it was like the minibus days. The ride was only 4 rupees per person.
The rest of the days was ok not much excitment but when we were booking our taxi ride to cover 2 days parikrama in 1 day. One of my god-sister was......me cool person find her irritating. Another god-sister was having a headache I thought she was going to blow. I thought there will be a war of words. Lucky nothing happened, all managed to keep calm.
I noticed when you are feeling calm and bliss from your stay there. If not careful someone can just come and spoil it. Who we go with share room is very important.
I noticed one of my god-sister, when she is all stress up, she cannot think straight. Every year she goes there and yet she cannot find her way to her siksa guru samadi place. Anyway I found out that the Ganges river was nearby. But she will not own up that she had a bad sense of direction.
The dip at the Ganges river was good, make a person feel fresh, all the heat from the body is like Ganges Devi just took it.
Hopefully next year I will find time to go again.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Who Are We To Judge?
A god-sister had send an email, telling another god-sister off. Showing off her seniority, by saying a new disciple trying to call for a meeting to re-vote the temple committee again. Who is she (new disciple) just join the sanga and trying to call for a meeting. And not any other meeting but to re-elect the temple committee.
This very senior god-sister, send an email. Accussing of disciple and disciple quarrelling and temple is running properly why call for an election. This very senior god-sister also show off the number year she had serve Nitai Nanda and challenge others that she is waiting for respond from the email she had send.
I was also offended by her email, 1st she did not check why a re-election was necessary and is it senior disciple or devotees that have become disciple much earlier had move devotion and sincerity or..... than newly join or junior disciple. How she know her devotion is much higher than others. This is pure ego, trying to show off how senior she is to us baby disciples.
Committee members had voiced their resignation with the temple Chairman, shouldn't a re-election is suppose to be called. Nobody will send an email out informing all on the re-election if the temple Chair-man does not give the OK. This is just simple common-sense.
The worst was the temple Chair-man sending a word document saying he did not acknowledge such a meeting. There were witness to him acknowledging the meeting. When I read it, it was do I respect the Chair or the Man. The man on the chair must know, if he can't lead or have management skill, he should leave the chair. Let another man or woman sit on it. If the man wants to continue to sit on it, he must change, must accept criticism and able to comunicate with others.
Just few days, theives walked right into the temple took away any valuable items they can find. It was broad day light, disciples was sleeping like a log. New disciple took the opportunity and send an email out to the senior disciple, questioning her and ........
Blogging this here, not in detail. The question who are we to judge others. How do you know that you are senior or long time disciple your devotion and sincerity is better or more then baby disciples. If your are senior shouldn't the senior lead and show the junior the process of a good disciple instead of pushing them off and give them a slap on the face.
Had wrote this a long time but did not have the time to continue. Today had decided to post it.
This very senior god-sister, send an email. Accussing of disciple and disciple quarrelling and temple is running properly why call for an election. This very senior god-sister also show off the number year she had serve Nitai Nanda and challenge others that she is waiting for respond from the email she had send.
I was also offended by her email, 1st she did not check why a re-election was necessary and is it senior disciple or devotees that have become disciple much earlier had move devotion and sincerity or..... than newly join or junior disciple. How she know her devotion is much higher than others. This is pure ego, trying to show off how senior she is to us baby disciples.
Committee members had voiced their resignation with the temple Chairman, shouldn't a re-election is suppose to be called. Nobody will send an email out informing all on the re-election if the temple Chair-man does not give the OK. This is just simple common-sense.
The worst was the temple Chair-man sending a word document saying he did not acknowledge such a meeting. There were witness to him acknowledging the meeting. When I read it, it was do I respect the Chair or the Man. The man on the chair must know, if he can't lead or have management skill, he should leave the chair. Let another man or woman sit on it. If the man wants to continue to sit on it, he must change, must accept criticism and able to comunicate with others.
Just few days, theives walked right into the temple took away any valuable items they can find. It was broad day light, disciples was sleeping like a log. New disciple took the opportunity and send an email out to the senior disciple, questioning her and ........
Blogging this here, not in detail. The question who are we to judge others. How do you know that you are senior or long time disciple your devotion and sincerity is better or more then baby disciples. If your are senior shouldn't the senior lead and show the junior the process of a good disciple instead of pushing them off and give them a slap on the face.
Had wrote this a long time but did not have the time to continue. Today had decided to post it.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The Thai Words That I had pick up
I had forgotten my 0 to 10 numbers in Thai, my colleague had refreshed it for me. Let see, zero is "soon", one is "neeng", two is "song", three is "sam", four is "see", five is "ha", six is "hawk", seven is "jet", eight is "pet", nine is "kao" and ten is "sip".
Turn left - "leo side"
Turn right - "leo kua"
Drive straight - "tong pai"
How much - "toll rai"
Excuse me - "kho tor kah" - this sound like kotor kah to me when i first hear it.
This one is good,
Which floor is chan nai..... when I first hear it, I was like OH so vulgar. My colleague said "don't think crocked".
Don't want plastic bag - mai au thong
Color - C said it in the 4th tone like mandarine
Learn a few new words lately.
rain - phon tot
telephone - toll lap sap (when first hear this, you mean throw rubbish in canto is telephone in thai)
go home - kha bun
Assignment had finished in Bangkok, after 4 1/2 months, I don't think I have learn many Thai words. I managed to find a Thai for beginners. It is from English to Thai Ka ra oki, so can understand.
Good to be home, haven't update my blog for a few months. Hope to find more time for my blog.
Turn left - "leo side"
Turn right - "leo kua"
Drive straight - "tong pai"
How much - "toll rai"
Excuse me - "kho tor kah" - this sound like kotor kah to me when i first hear it.
This one is good,
Which floor is chan nai..... when I first hear it, I was like OH so vulgar. My colleague said "don't think crocked".
Don't want plastic bag - mai au thong
Color - C said it in the 4th tone like mandarine
Learn a few new words lately.
rain - phon tot
telephone - toll lap sap (when first hear this, you mean throw rubbish in canto is telephone in thai)
go home - kha bun
Assignment had finished in Bangkok, after 4 1/2 months, I don't think I have learn many Thai words. I managed to find a Thai for beginners. It is from English to Thai Ka ra oki, so can understand.
Good to be home, haven't update my blog for a few months. Hope to find more time for my blog.
Friday, May 1, 2009
In Bangkok After 5 years
Had been in Bangkok for 2 weeks. It had been 5 years since my last assignment in Bangkok. The feeling this time around is quite different, more comfortable and less lost. Nothing much had changed. The only thing that change is the airport and apartment.
The new airport is big, I remember I had a hard time finding the transit gate on my last trip to India. My god brother and me spend about half an hour looking for the place. Luckily we had 2 hours to do it. The escalator was hard to find too. It is behind some beam that block it from my small eye view. This trip, checking out was different. Coming right out from the gate the custom is there and out from the custom the luggage belt is there. Had to wait about 10 minutes for them to display it on the screen. Who said our KLIA luggage delivery is so. You should try Bangkok's.
The last time stayed in Pantip, this round at Oakwood. Pantip, the apartment is much bigger, the bed is also much bigger, the kitchen, sofa. Oakwood has better lighting. I think Oakwood is ok but I miss going to Lumpini Park...did i get the spelling right. I can go there every Saturday and Sunday or a public holiday. It's about 5 to 10 minutes walk from the Pantip apartment.
With my little tan, the people think I am Thai, even in the airplane too. I guess I need to pick some Thai words.
This assignment is at another customer, there is a market next to it. Spend the afternoon walking thru the place. Many nice things to see and buy. I bought 6 Ben10 T-shirt for my nephews. I hope they like it. You get shoes, I finally bought one pair. Singlets.... lots to buy... I think my 10,000 bahts is not enough to last until my home trip. Now I had already spend almost all of it. Need to have enough to last until my home trip, need to pay a visit to the ATM machine.
The market here is so different from Malaysia. Here you get almost everything, you even have stalls selling books, branded bags and clothes. Oh! have you seen stalls in Malaysia selling those 5 inche high heels. Those classy kind. You get working clothes too. Just don't have to go to our Jusco or Parkson or ..... to get them.
Last weekend went to Siam Paragon, bought lot of Mama tom yum. My colleague was holding is all in her hand while I went to get the trolley. Everyone stare at her, giving her a funny look. What is this lady doing standing there holding 5 to 6 bags of instead noodles.
Today walked to the wet market with my colleage. A good walk about 20 to 30 minutes. We bought quite a lot especially me. I needed to fill my fridge with vegetables. On the way I saw this cute slipper with a puppy head on it, bought 2 pairs for my sister and myself.
It's mango season, had been eating mango everyday since I land myself in Bangkok. The mango here are good. The green and yellow are all good. Laichee is coming too. Longan too. The durian are here too. But I don't like Thai durian, no smell. Eating durian without that aroma is like not eating durian at all.
3 1/2 months to go before the assignment finishes, I am already missing my bed.
The new airport is big, I remember I had a hard time finding the transit gate on my last trip to India. My god brother and me spend about half an hour looking for the place. Luckily we had 2 hours to do it. The escalator was hard to find too. It is behind some beam that block it from my small eye view. This trip, checking out was different. Coming right out from the gate the custom is there and out from the custom the luggage belt is there. Had to wait about 10 minutes for them to display it on the screen. Who said our KLIA luggage delivery is so. You should try Bangkok's.
The last time stayed in Pantip, this round at Oakwood. Pantip, the apartment is much bigger, the bed is also much bigger, the kitchen, sofa. Oakwood has better lighting. I think Oakwood is ok but I miss going to Lumpini Park...did i get the spelling right. I can go there every Saturday and Sunday or a public holiday. It's about 5 to 10 minutes walk from the Pantip apartment.
With my little tan, the people think I am Thai, even in the airplane too. I guess I need to pick some Thai words.
This assignment is at another customer, there is a market next to it. Spend the afternoon walking thru the place. Many nice things to see and buy. I bought 6 Ben10 T-shirt for my nephews. I hope they like it. You get shoes, I finally bought one pair. Singlets.... lots to buy... I think my 10,000 bahts is not enough to last until my home trip. Now I had already spend almost all of it. Need to have enough to last until my home trip, need to pay a visit to the ATM machine.
The market here is so different from Malaysia. Here you get almost everything, you even have stalls selling books, branded bags and clothes. Oh! have you seen stalls in Malaysia selling those 5 inche high heels. Those classy kind. You get working clothes too. Just don't have to go to our Jusco or Parkson or ..... to get them.
Last weekend went to Siam Paragon, bought lot of Mama tom yum. My colleague was holding is all in her hand while I went to get the trolley. Everyone stare at her, giving her a funny look. What is this lady doing standing there holding 5 to 6 bags of instead noodles.
Today walked to the wet market with my colleage. A good walk about 20 to 30 minutes. We bought quite a lot especially me. I needed to fill my fridge with vegetables. On the way I saw this cute slipper with a puppy head on it, bought 2 pairs for my sister and myself.
It's mango season, had been eating mango everyday since I land myself in Bangkok. The mango here are good. The green and yellow are all good. Laichee is coming too. Longan too. The durian are here too. But I don't like Thai durian, no smell. Eating durian without that aroma is like not eating durian at all.
3 1/2 months to go before the assignment finishes, I am already missing my bed.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sri Navadvipa Dhama
It had been 4 days since I came back from India Navadvipa Dhama. It was a very tiring trip, it was good that I came back on Friday, and had a good rest on Saturday and Sunday.
I saw ISKCON Mayapura, it had been 10 years since I last went. It is so different now, there are proper roads, shops and bus. Back then you get only stalls by the roadside.
This is my first parikrama, it started ok, went to Ganga River to take vow before parikarma starts. I lost my slipper on the first day so I had to walk bare foot. It was like leg massage, after a few hours, my legs was like cramped. Luckily I used a pair of slipper that will massage my legs. It helps a lot. Knowing that I cannot survive without slippers, went to town to buy myself a pair of slipper. You know what, I used the slipper that very night, after gurudev's class my slipper was gone again. I look all over the place could not find it. I guess Mahaprabhu wants me to go bare foot whenever I goes to the temple. That is what I did but parikrama I took my bedroom slipper along. I put it in a plastic bag when I get to the point where I cannot stand the pain I will use it. Next year I am going to buy a few pairs RM1.50 japanese slipper.
I saw ISKCON Mayapura, it had been 10 years since I last went. It is so different now, there are proper roads, shops and bus. Back then you get only stalls by the roadside.
This is my first parikrama, it started ok, went to Ganga River to take vow before parikarma starts. I lost my slipper on the first day so I had to walk bare foot. It was like leg massage, after a few hours, my legs was like cramped. Luckily I used a pair of slipper that will massage my legs. It helps a lot. Knowing that I cannot survive without slippers, went to town to buy myself a pair of slipper. You know what, I used the slipper that very night, after gurudev's class my slipper was gone again. I look all over the place could not find it. I guess Mahaprabhu wants me to go bare foot whenever I goes to the temple. That is what I did but parikrama I took my bedroom slipper along. I put it in a plastic bag when I get to the point where I cannot stand the pain I will use it. Next year I am going to buy a few pairs RM1.50 japanese slipper.
The afternoon heat is intense, need lots of juice, the sugar cane water is a good thirst cleansing. With this body been so pamper by comfort, I could not take it after 2 days. I could feel if I pushes myself further I will be down sick.
One should be there to feel the vibration of the kirtan by the thousands of devotees. That feel is even greater than going to a rock concert. Michael Jackson or Jay Chou cannot beat our humble Krishna Das one man show. Wow! Hare Krsna Ki Jai!!!!!
I finally get to dip myself in Ganges river, the water is so fresh and you can open your eyes under the water. After that dipped I could feel my body heat had been taken away by Ganges Devi. Feel good better than taking the afternoon shower in a 5 star bathroom.
Next year I am going again. This time I hope I will finish the 5 days parikrama. Yes I can do it.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
My Guru's 89 birthday
On 22nd February 2009 Gurudev went back to India after staying for a month in Malaysia. Gurudev have to go back as Navadvipa Parikrama is going to start, which is 5th of March 2009.Gurudev's birthday always fall on the 1st day of Chinese New Year. Every year all his disciples will gather at the temple to celebrate, we called it Vyasa Puja. This year was special we had him in person, yes! here in Malaysia. We had this special day at Desaru beach resort, Johore. It was a 7 days 6 nights celebration. It is called Vyasa Puja Desaru 2009.
Before the festival starts, between his disciples there were lots of argument, those working, earning less and old asked the question why select so faraway where it is so inconvenient and expensive. Now that it is over, the question why Desaru, I see it. It was a test of our devotion and patience, how best can we performed at a place that is quite remote and during Chinese New Year where most of the shops are closed.
After the festival, I feel tired but in my heart there is this happiness, where money cannot buy.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Judge A Book By Its Cover or Judge A Fruit By Its Look.
Few weeks ago, was chatting with a friend over the phone. We were chatting how many of us like to judge a person by the first impression. What you would say “judge a book by its cover” or “judge a fruit by its look” this is from me.
I used to be like that but as time past, I noticed it was very wrong to do that, most of the time my judgment was wrong too. How I judge a person, the other person can also do the same to me. Nowadays I tried as much as possible not to do it.
My friend said most people buy fruits they look at the fruits from the outside, like buying apple, pear and orange. You only noticed it is bad or rotten until you takes it home and cut open it. We can’t see inside when we purchased them. It is like selecting friends we never know they are good or bad until we get to know them or it is too late, already been cheated.
I continued with just like buying mango, mango that look nice and smell nice most of the time don’t taste good. Take example Australia mango and Thailand mango, black gold (黑金). Australia mangoes look so smooth and have that mango smell but the taste is not that great. Thailand black gold, look not so great, green sometime have black marking on it. When you cut open and taste the mango it is so good. So a person that wear a tie and coat and smell of perfume does not mean he/she is a good person, they could be devil in disguise or a wolf hiding under a sheep skin.
Then I added maybe we should choose our friends like buying durians, what the Chinese say “Bao Chi包吃”. When we buy durian we shake, smell, knock and give it a good look then we said ok. This one open and let me see inside. If inside looks like what you want you buy it.
We were laughing, and asked each other are you a durian, an apple or a mango. Both of us replied durian. Wah! Think so highly of ourselves. Then we added not everyone likes durian or can accept durian. We were laughing how our mind can make human characters match with fruits.
Nowadays both of us, if a friend irritates us, we would say, we didn’t know that he/she is a ……….and we will start laughing.
So which fruits are you, a D24, India mango, banana, passion fruits, strawberries…… Don’t tell me you are a ciku.
I used to be like that but as time past, I noticed it was very wrong to do that, most of the time my judgment was wrong too. How I judge a person, the other person can also do the same to me. Nowadays I tried as much as possible not to do it.
My friend said most people buy fruits they look at the fruits from the outside, like buying apple, pear and orange. You only noticed it is bad or rotten until you takes it home and cut open it. We can’t see inside when we purchased them. It is like selecting friends we never know they are good or bad until we get to know them or it is too late, already been cheated.
I continued with just like buying mango, mango that look nice and smell nice most of the time don’t taste good. Take example Australia mango and Thailand mango, black gold (黑金). Australia mangoes look so smooth and have that mango smell but the taste is not that great. Thailand black gold, look not so great, green sometime have black marking on it. When you cut open and taste the mango it is so good. So a person that wear a tie and coat and smell of perfume does not mean he/she is a good person, they could be devil in disguise or a wolf hiding under a sheep skin.
Then I added maybe we should choose our friends like buying durians, what the Chinese say “Bao Chi包吃”. When we buy durian we shake, smell, knock and give it a good look then we said ok. This one open and let me see inside. If inside looks like what you want you buy it.
We were laughing, and asked each other are you a durian, an apple or a mango. Both of us replied durian. Wah! Think so highly of ourselves. Then we added not everyone likes durian or can accept durian. We were laughing how our mind can make human characters match with fruits.
Nowadays both of us, if a friend irritates us, we would say, we didn’t know that he/she is a ……….and we will start laughing.
So which fruits are you, a D24, India mango, banana, passion fruits, strawberries…… Don’t tell me you are a ciku.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Looks Like I Worry too
This had been sitting in my laptop for quite sometime, was telling myself post or don't post. I had decided to post.
Meaning to write this for quite sometime but don’t know where to start. I am still scratching my head or rather searching my heart how to put it out. At the same time I do not want to sound like an old grandmother.
I think I look, yes! I think I look like I don’t care or want to know what happened around me. Like very cool. What the Chinese saying 天 跌 下 来 当 皮 盖 (tian die xia lai dang pi gai), meaning, “the sky fall take it as cover”. Don’t know whether I am right on this, my nephews, nieces and siblings might not think so. They might see me as K Poh as I sometime K Poh into their life or opinion.
Everyone goes thru the process of teenage or growing up, even I. During this time it is very important we take the right step, mix with the right people. If we do walk the wrong direction, we must realized and turn back.
My nieces who read this, I know I know you all are big boys and girls. You need your own space and privacy too. I want to say curiosity kills the cat. It is good to be curious but must always be careful. Even myself at this age I am still curious but always put my careful antenna on. Don’t play with fire, know your limit. Trust your instinct and be street smart.
I know each generation view and think differently, because of environment and media. When I was young, I see things differently from my parents too. Had lots of argument, but always they win. At that time I see them as bully, now that I am a senior citizen I understands that it is their worries that make them react that way. Some parents let you see their worries some keep it inside let you see the cool side of it.
As children we think we are mature, but when we’re faced with a situation we will know how mature we are.
I do worry but I know all the talking will show like nagging or scolding. I want to protect them but how much can I protect them, I am not God. If I am God I make sure they are protected by a special force field where no harm can come to them. I am not God so I can only pray for them. My prayers “Krsna (God) please guide them, keep them safe, show them the way to the right path. Let them know what is right and wrong. Keep people with bad intentions away from them and keep bad intention away from their head too.”
I am very glad that my 2 nephews pass their form 3 exam with good grades, especially Fat Fat. He now realized that studying is good for him and a ticket to better future. I had pulled his ears a few times when he could not care less on his studies. I hope he realized why I pulled his ears.
Ahh! I do sound like a grandmother, telling grandmother story is difficult when at the same time you want to look cool.
Later maybe later later If I feel like blogging on the parties that was throw in this very house those days, those old days.
Meaning to write this for quite sometime but don’t know where to start. I am still scratching my head or rather searching my heart how to put it out. At the same time I do not want to sound like an old grandmother.
I think I look, yes! I think I look like I don’t care or want to know what happened around me. Like very cool. What the Chinese saying 天 跌 下 来 当 皮 盖 (tian die xia lai dang pi gai), meaning, “the sky fall take it as cover”. Don’t know whether I am right on this, my nephews, nieces and siblings might not think so. They might see me as K Poh as I sometime K Poh into their life or opinion.
Everyone goes thru the process of teenage or growing up, even I. During this time it is very important we take the right step, mix with the right people. If we do walk the wrong direction, we must realized and turn back.
My nieces who read this, I know I know you all are big boys and girls. You need your own space and privacy too. I want to say curiosity kills the cat. It is good to be curious but must always be careful. Even myself at this age I am still curious but always put my careful antenna on. Don’t play with fire, know your limit. Trust your instinct and be street smart.
I know each generation view and think differently, because of environment and media. When I was young, I see things differently from my parents too. Had lots of argument, but always they win. At that time I see them as bully, now that I am a senior citizen I understands that it is their worries that make them react that way. Some parents let you see their worries some keep it inside let you see the cool side of it.
As children we think we are mature, but when we’re faced with a situation we will know how mature we are.
I do worry but I know all the talking will show like nagging or scolding. I want to protect them but how much can I protect them, I am not God. If I am God I make sure they are protected by a special force field where no harm can come to them. I am not God so I can only pray for them. My prayers “Krsna (God) please guide them, keep them safe, show them the way to the right path. Let them know what is right and wrong. Keep people with bad intentions away from them and keep bad intention away from their head too.”
I am very glad that my 2 nephews pass their form 3 exam with good grades, especially Fat Fat. He now realized that studying is good for him and a ticket to better future. I had pulled his ears a few times when he could not care less on his studies. I hope he realized why I pulled his ears.
Ahh! I do sound like a grandmother, telling grandmother story is difficult when at the same time you want to look cool.
Later maybe later later If I feel like blogging on the parties that was throw in this very house those days, those old days.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
People Like You
A brand new year!
A clean slate on which to write our hopes and dreams.
This year:
Less time and energy on things;
More time and energy on people.
All of life’s best rewards,
deepest and finest feelings,
greatest satisfactions,
Come from people--People like you.
Happy New Year!
A clean slate on which to write our hopes and dreams.
This year:
Less time and energy on things;
More time and energy on people.
All of life’s best rewards,
deepest and finest feelings,
greatest satisfactions,
Come from people--People like you.
Happy New Year!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Shopping Fever
I think I have shopping fever, must have got the virus when I went to Taiwan(台湾) for a holiday.
In Taiwan I bought quite a number of pants, like half a dozen plus others hair-pins, bracelets and ………. I know my bag was full to the brim. I had to ask my nephew whether his bag have space or not. Luckily he has, if not I have to put it in my hand carry bag and check-in.
Back from Taiwan, my sister, her son, two nieces and I went shopping during Christmas Day. My sister, her son and I started at 9.30am leaving home to fetch our nieces. I can’t remember what time we reach One-U, I think it was around 11 am. We had lunch before starting our shopping exercise. You know get ourselves all fuel up first.
Among us I bought the most, 2 sandals, 2 singlet, 2 sweaters and one blouse. The blouse was a last minute thing, bought it on the way to the car park. Had seen it earlier thinking there could be nicer one at other shops. After walking like 4 to 5 hours did not see one that is better. Luckily on the way to the car park we pass that shop. I guess the blouse and I are fated to be together.
One of my nieces was looking and still looking for a purse that she likes, what a let down could not find one. She found a design she likes but the shop do not have the colour she wanted. I hope she finds it at other shopping mall. But she bought the shoes she was looking for. At least she did not walk away empty handed.
Our feet were aching, we had a short rest at a doughnut shop, had our drinks and doughnuts. My nieces said buy half a dozen, I find it too little, after all that exercise we needed the energy, refuel. I bought a dozen I ate the most, 4. I just ate one after another when I saw only 1 doughnut left. I started to count how many each of us ate, I was the winner. I told my niece I need to diet but later dinner went for steamboat. I told myself tomorrow I really need to diet. I was so full that day I could not sleep, I slept around 2.30am.
My sister son, my nephew got lost twice that day. Luckily we found him in less then 5 minutes. He just likes to run off on his own. I need to tell myself I had to be extra careful. My sister said of course you are not scared he’s not your son. Well! How should I react? I just keep calm and said it is not that, panic does not help. It’s good I keep calm.
I think shopping should be done without those children under 10 years, if they are there, buy only for children and go home or just enjoy the day with the child doing what is interesting for them. With them around, you don’t know to look at the clothes or the child.
The next day I went with my sister to Kepong Jusco again. There was 1 item on my shopping list that I haven’t bought. After seeing the bills, I told myself enough of buying yah enough.
The next day I went to PJ to return my P1 modem, on the way back I stop at KLCC. You guess right I went shopping again. I bought singlet, blouses and a coat. When I got home my sister was at mom’s house. She said, “wah! buy some more economic must be good for you”. It is not that, just that I always buy during year end, once a year kind of thing.
I was thinking I had bought all I wanted. Today my sister said do I want to go to the shopping mall that is near to home. I guess I just go see go see only. I end buying like 11 items. I saw the computer bag I was looking for, just RM30, where to find so cheap some more quality one lah.
I had been buying for four days non stop. I need to see the doctor for antibiotic, I need to kill the shopping virus. The antibiotic, tell myself I have all the stuffs I need and my credit card is at danger limit. Tomorrow when I wake up the virus will be gone. I am back to my old self, stingy.
In Taiwan I bought quite a number of pants, like half a dozen plus others hair-pins, bracelets and ………. I know my bag was full to the brim. I had to ask my nephew whether his bag have space or not. Luckily he has, if not I have to put it in my hand carry bag and check-in.
Back from Taiwan, my sister, her son, two nieces and I went shopping during Christmas Day. My sister, her son and I started at 9.30am leaving home to fetch our nieces. I can’t remember what time we reach One-U, I think it was around 11 am. We had lunch before starting our shopping exercise. You know get ourselves all fuel up first.
Among us I bought the most, 2 sandals, 2 singlet, 2 sweaters and one blouse. The blouse was a last minute thing, bought it on the way to the car park. Had seen it earlier thinking there could be nicer one at other shops. After walking like 4 to 5 hours did not see one that is better. Luckily on the way to the car park we pass that shop. I guess the blouse and I are fated to be together.
One of my nieces was looking and still looking for a purse that she likes, what a let down could not find one. She found a design she likes but the shop do not have the colour she wanted. I hope she finds it at other shopping mall. But she bought the shoes she was looking for. At least she did not walk away empty handed.
Our feet were aching, we had a short rest at a doughnut shop, had our drinks and doughnuts. My nieces said buy half a dozen, I find it too little, after all that exercise we needed the energy, refuel. I bought a dozen I ate the most, 4. I just ate one after another when I saw only 1 doughnut left. I started to count how many each of us ate, I was the winner. I told my niece I need to diet but later dinner went for steamboat. I told myself tomorrow I really need to diet. I was so full that day I could not sleep, I slept around 2.30am.
My sister son, my nephew got lost twice that day. Luckily we found him in less then 5 minutes. He just likes to run off on his own. I need to tell myself I had to be extra careful. My sister said of course you are not scared he’s not your son. Well! How should I react? I just keep calm and said it is not that, panic does not help. It’s good I keep calm.
I think shopping should be done without those children under 10 years, if they are there, buy only for children and go home or just enjoy the day with the child doing what is interesting for them. With them around, you don’t know to look at the clothes or the child.
The next day I went with my sister to Kepong Jusco again. There was 1 item on my shopping list that I haven’t bought. After seeing the bills, I told myself enough of buying yah enough.
The next day I went to PJ to return my P1 modem, on the way back I stop at KLCC. You guess right I went shopping again. I bought singlet, blouses and a coat. When I got home my sister was at mom’s house. She said, “wah! buy some more economic must be good for you”. It is not that, just that I always buy during year end, once a year kind of thing.
I was thinking I had bought all I wanted. Today my sister said do I want to go to the shopping mall that is near to home. I guess I just go see go see only. I end buying like 11 items. I saw the computer bag I was looking for, just RM30, where to find so cheap some more quality one lah.
I had been buying for four days non stop. I need to see the doctor for antibiotic, I need to kill the shopping virus. The antibiotic, tell myself I have all the stuffs I need and my credit card is at danger limit. Tomorrow when I wake up the virus will be gone. I am back to my old self, stingy.
The Chinese Word “AI” (爱 - Love)
I am learning the simplified Chinese with HAN YU PIN YIN (汉语拼音). When I compared the traditional Chinese stroke, I noticed the “XIN” 心, heart had been removed. I guess now when anyone say or write “WO AI NI” (我爱你-I love you) is without heart but with friendship. Why because YOU (友) is in the simplified Chinese word and YOU mean friend. Will I guess you got yourself a friend but not his/her heart.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tribute to Mother Teresa
This was send to me thru email. I find it very beautiful had save in my thumb-drive. It is too beautiful not to blog it here.
Tribute to Mother Teresa - 1910 to 1997
Tribute to Mother Teresa - 1910 to 1997
She was a Roman Catholic nun born in Macedonia (Europe) who founded The Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta. She won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 for her humanitarian work.
Mother Teresa in her own words:- "Do not wait for leaders, do it alone, person to person."
Mother Teresa taught us by her example what it really means to 'live'.
“I think today the world is upside down, and is suffering so much because there is so very little love in the home, and in family life. We have no time for our children, we have no time for each other, there is no time to enjoy each other.”
“Love begins at home; love lives in homes, and that is why there is so much suffering and so much unhappiness in the world today...Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that parents have very little time for their children. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world.”
On Poverty:
"I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience?" -- 1974 interview.
"When I see waste here, I feel angry on the inside. I don't approve of myself getting angry. But it's something you can't help after seeing Ethiopia." -- Washington 1984.
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.”
“The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.”
“There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation than for bread.”
“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”
On War: 
"I have never been in a war before, but I have seen famine and death. I was asking (myself), 'What do they feel when they do this?' I don't understand it. They are all children of God. Why do they do it? I don't understand." -- Beirut 1982, during fighting between the Israeli army and Palestinian guerrillas.
"Please choose the way of peace. ... In the short term there may be winners and losers in this war that we all dread. But that never can, nor never will justify the suffering, pain and loss of life your weapons will cause." -- Letter to U.S. President George Bush and Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, January 1991.
On abortion:
Abortion "is murder in the womb ... A child is a gift of God. If you do not want him, give him to me."
“The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a mother can kill her own child, what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between.”
“It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.”
On her life's work:
"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."
"The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven. And St. Peter said, 'Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here.'" - as said to Prince Michael of Greece in 1996.
“The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it.”
On love:
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
“I try to give to the poor people for free what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.”
“I have found the answer to the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there cannot be more hurt, only more love.”
“ I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I do know that when we die and it comes to time for God to judge us, he will NOT ask How many good things have you done in your life? Rather he will ask How much LOVE did you put into what you did? ”
“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.” "
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.”
Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
Good works are links that form a chain of love.
On serving God: 
“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”
“Each poor person is God in disguise.”
“I am a little pencil in the hand of God who is writing a love letter to the world.”
“I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.”
“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.”
“Many people mistake our work for our vocation. Our vocation is the love of God.”
“Sweetest Lord, make me appreciative of the dignity of my high vocation, and its many responsibilities. Never permit me to disgrace it by giving way to coldness, unkindness, or impatience.”
“There should be less talk; a preaching point is not a meeting point. What do you do then? Take a broom and clean someone's house. That says enough.”
“In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.”
“Words which do not give the light of increase the darkness.” 
“Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be had, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go.”
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
"At the end of our lives, we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made or how many great things we have done. We will be judged by 'I was hungry and you gave me to eat. I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless and you took me in."
"If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it."
God Bless you and your family
Mother Terasa
My Trip to Vrndavana, India
How many of us have heard of Vrndavana, only those that are in Krsna Consciousness will know. Vrndavana is Krsna childhood place where he grows up, before he moved to Mathura.
Some would say it is a mythology but having been there, you can see it is not a mythology. All the ancient temple in the story book are still around, is a proof that it is not a mythology. Krsna pastime does exist.
To me Krsna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, meaning GOD himself.
I remember when the aeroplane landed in New Delhi airport, that feeling in my heart, I am coming home. Home Sweet Home. It takes about 4 to 5 hours by taxi to reach Vrndavana.
We stayed at a rented room which is just next to gurudev’s temple, so it was very convenient. We were lucky to have an attached bathroom. This is a luxury in Vrndavana.
The first thing we did was got ourselves a stove, gas and distilled water. The market and shops were very interesting to me. All the vegetables sold there are organic. Where in Malaysia or any developed or developing country you find organic vegetable at such a cheap price, 2 rupee for 1 kg of spinach. Those vegetables that are in season are very cheap, even it is not in season it is still cheap compared to back home. We would go to the market 2 days once. Fruits from outside are very expensive only foreign will buy. Local find it too expensive. Local fruits are cheap. The interesting part is after so many years the whole place is still a vegetarian. You don’t see any shops or places selling meat.
As you walked or moved around the place, you don’t heard excused me in Hindi or Bengal. If you are blocking someone vice versa, you just said “RADHE RADHE”. I had to get used to it. I keep saying thank you, the landlord said no thank you, Radhe Radhe.
My first day at the market was quite an experience, a monkey urinated on me. The next trip a bird shit on my head. My god-sisters said it is auspicious. I guess I’ll take it as auspicious.
You have to be careful of all the monkeys there. Any shining thing they see they will just grab and run. So I will not wear my spectacle or any jewelry. If you buy fruits and vegetables make sure all are put in a bag that the monkeys cannot see. If they see, they will attack your goodies.
Ah! Yamuna River is slowly drying up. You can see all the temples that were built by her river side, have a place where you can play with her water. Now you can’t anymore as her river side is about 100 meters away now.
Went to Govardhana to see Govardhana Hill, Radha Kunda and many other temples and kund. Govardhana is quite different from Vrndavana.
I like Vrndavana it feels like home in the heart but the body especially the skin cannot take the weather there. After 2 days there my skin begins to show rashes. Tried putting lotion it did not helped. So I decided not to put any. Slowly the rashes begin to subside. After 2 weeks I had to leave the place, I know if I stayed longer, my skin will showed. I was having the same problem as my first trip to Mayapur, India.
I hope to return to Mayapur and Vrndavana again for my parikarma. Parikarma is important to me. Hope Krsna will let me fulfilled this desire.
.
I will not type much here as going there to experience is the best. Don’t have high expectation of the place like a modern city. It is not, but it is not entirely a village too. It’s like a small city. I did not take my digital camera along. The next time I’ll go I will take picture hopefully the monkeys will not grab my camera.
Some would say it is a mythology but having been there, you can see it is not a mythology. All the ancient temple in the story book are still around, is a proof that it is not a mythology. Krsna pastime does exist.
To me Krsna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, meaning GOD himself.
I remember when the aeroplane landed in New Delhi airport, that feeling in my heart, I am coming home. Home Sweet Home. It takes about 4 to 5 hours by taxi to reach Vrndavana.
We stayed at a rented room which is just next to gurudev’s temple, so it was very convenient. We were lucky to have an attached bathroom. This is a luxury in Vrndavana.
The first thing we did was got ourselves a stove, gas and distilled water. The market and shops were very interesting to me. All the vegetables sold there are organic. Where in Malaysia or any developed or developing country you find organic vegetable at such a cheap price, 2 rupee for 1 kg of spinach. Those vegetables that are in season are very cheap, even it is not in season it is still cheap compared to back home. We would go to the market 2 days once. Fruits from outside are very expensive only foreign will buy. Local find it too expensive. Local fruits are cheap. The interesting part is after so many years the whole place is still a vegetarian. You don’t see any shops or places selling meat.
As you walked or moved around the place, you don’t heard excused me in Hindi or Bengal. If you are blocking someone vice versa, you just said “RADHE RADHE”. I had to get used to it. I keep saying thank you, the landlord said no thank you, Radhe Radhe.
My first day at the market was quite an experience, a monkey urinated on me. The next trip a bird shit on my head. My god-sisters said it is auspicious. I guess I’ll take it as auspicious.
You have to be careful of all the monkeys there. Any shining thing they see they will just grab and run. So I will not wear my spectacle or any jewelry. If you buy fruits and vegetables make sure all are put in a bag that the monkeys cannot see. If they see, they will attack your goodies.
Ah! Yamuna River is slowly drying up. You can see all the temples that were built by her river side, have a place where you can play with her water. Now you can’t anymore as her river side is about 100 meters away now.
Went to Govardhana to see Govardhana Hill, Radha Kunda and many other temples and kund. Govardhana is quite different from Vrndavana.
I like Vrndavana it feels like home in the heart but the body especially the skin cannot take the weather there. After 2 days there my skin begins to show rashes. Tried putting lotion it did not helped. So I decided not to put any. Slowly the rashes begin to subside. After 2 weeks I had to leave the place, I know if I stayed longer, my skin will showed. I was having the same problem as my first trip to Mayapur, India.
I hope to return to Mayapur and Vrndavana again for my parikarma. Parikarma is important to me. Hope Krsna will let me fulfilled this desire.
.
I will not type much here as going there to experience is the best. Don’t have high expectation of the place like a modern city. It is not, but it is not entirely a village too. It’s like a small city. I did not take my digital camera along. The next time I’ll go I will take picture hopefully the monkeys will not grab my camera.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
My Trip to Taiwan (台湾)
Mom and I had wanted to go to Taiwan for a long time but some how we always end up going somewhere else or could not find the right time to go.
This year my brother decided to take his family to Taiwan for a holiday. Mom, 2 nephews, niece and I went along with them. Visited Taipei (台北) and other small town near Taipei.
We arrived at Taoyuan International Airport (桃园中正国际机场) around 7.30pm. I can’t remember an hour or half to reach Taipei. It was cold when we arrived at Taoyuan International Airport as it’s near the sea. I think the temperature was around 16c to 20c.
The local tour guide took us to one of their night market called Shilin (士林夜市). Since I am a vegetarian and it was late at night I did not want supper. The others tried their local food. They tried their Or Ah Mee Suah, Fish Ball, Fried Crab and a few others. They find the food quite bland. Just like when an India person eating Chinese food in Malaysia, the India friend will always said Chinese food no taste, not enough spice. There were still time we took the opportunity to shop, niece, nephew and I went into a shop that sell local brand. We find the fashion and price was okay, we bought quite a bit there, especially me, as I like trouser with lots of pocket. We bought scarf and gloves too.
We check in the Hotel in Taipei. The next day we left for Leofoo Village Theme Park (六幅村). It is divided into region, like you have the Wild Wild West, Arabian Nights and so on. All the rides in the Theme Park are free. I find our Genting Highland Theme Park and Sunway Lagoon is much better. When we watch Jacky Wu in his game show, the place looks like it is very big and the ride so scary, actually it is not that scary. We tried the boat ride where the boat falls at 90degree before you fall out the boat goes back to 0 degree again. Here the water will splash onto your face. It was a good thing my brother got us some recycle rain coat. If not……
No doubt the rain coat is from the dustbin, I appreciated it, to me better than nothing. Most of them get it from the dustbin nearby anyway. Anyway the dustbin had only thrown away rain coat.
We had lunch at the Theme Park and continue to Yilan Winery (宜兰甲子兰酒文物馆), it shows the history of traditional wine making. Did not find the wine interesting but my niece and I found some hand make handicraft.(手工艺品）The biscuit with that molasses is very good. I had yet to try it. Those that had tried said it is good. From here we moved to our next destination. That is Yilan Traditional Art Centre.
Yilan Traditional Art Centre (宜兰传统术中心), this is quite an interesting place. You get all their local tribes arts here. I had a wonderful time here, we bought bracelets, earrings and phone-chains. We bought this magic Absorbent Coaster. This coaster when you place your cup or mug on it, if there is water at the bottom of the cup or mug it will absorb the water, leaving your desks dry and clean. It had beautiful picture on it too. Mom tried spinning the top, and she did it, after so many years she still had the magic there. My brother and I were super excited over it, especially me I was jumping up and down getting the others to clap too. I guess I was proud of my mom as others could not spin the top. We were not interested in the Chinese traditional show, to us it is boring.
That night we had dinner and check in at Shangri-la Boutique Hotel, for a small town like Yilan that Hotel or resort is consider 4 stars. After dinner, some went fishing, some wanted to dip in the hot spring. All was abandon. We end up watching the 8pm movie on chocolate. It was quite entertaining.
The next day we went to Yehliu Geopark (野柳地质公园) this is where the famous queen’s head and fairy shoes. It was very windy and cold.
The tour guide took us to Danshui Oldtown and Fisherman’s Wharf( to watch the sunset. It was so cold and windy that all end up eating Ah Mah Fish Ball except me. The tour guide asked did you all saw the sunset, we said no but we saw Ah Mah Fish Ball, we had a good laugh.
Next day visit is nothing special, visited the home of Chiang Kai Shek, Miniatures Museum and Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall. I don’t find Taipei 101 Observation Deck special. We had to pay, while our Petronas Twin Tower we don’t have to. When we were at the Taipei 101 Observation Deck, the staff came to our tour guide saying there is special gift for guest that day. We were having high expectation on the gift, guess what it is. It is a bookmark, just a strip of paper with a Chinese painting on it. I guess better than nothing lah.
Things are very expensive at 101 malls and those malls around it. This is what I called branded. The whole mall is so classy. Luckily there is Giordano on Christmas sales, we got some pants. Did not walked away empty handed. I bought Aska Yang Star Start DVD concert. Had watched it, for a beginner it is good.
Had been to Hong Kong, Taiwan and China, if you want to shop and eat it is better to go to Hong Kong. There is more to Malaysian taste bud. I still prefer shopping in China they have lots of their local brand which is not bad too.
This trip I learned a thing from niece, the luggage strip during check-in there is name on it. I thought only number, silly me.
This year my brother decided to take his family to Taiwan for a holiday. Mom, 2 nephews, niece and I went along with them. Visited Taipei (台北) and other small town near Taipei.
We arrived at Taoyuan International Airport (桃园中正国际机场) around 7.30pm. I can’t remember an hour or half to reach Taipei. It was cold when we arrived at Taoyuan International Airport as it’s near the sea. I think the temperature was around 16c to 20c.
The local tour guide took us to one of their night market called Shilin (士林夜市). Since I am a vegetarian and it was late at night I did not want supper. The others tried their local food. They tried their Or Ah Mee Suah, Fish Ball, Fried Crab and a few others. They find the food quite bland. Just like when an India person eating Chinese food in Malaysia, the India friend will always said Chinese food no taste, not enough spice. There were still time we took the opportunity to shop, niece, nephew and I went into a shop that sell local brand. We find the fashion and price was okay, we bought quite a bit there, especially me, as I like trouser with lots of pocket. We bought scarf and gloves too.
We check in the Hotel in Taipei. The next day we left for Leofoo Village Theme Park (六幅村). It is divided into region, like you have the Wild Wild West, Arabian Nights and so on. All the rides in the Theme Park are free. I find our Genting Highland Theme Park and Sunway Lagoon is much better. When we watch Jacky Wu in his game show, the place looks like it is very big and the ride so scary, actually it is not that scary. We tried the boat ride where the boat falls at 90degree before you fall out the boat goes back to 0 degree again. Here the water will splash onto your face. It was a good thing my brother got us some recycle rain coat. If not……
No doubt the rain coat is from the dustbin, I appreciated it, to me better than nothing. Most of them get it from the dustbin nearby anyway. Anyway the dustbin had only thrown away rain coat.
We had lunch at the Theme Park and continue to Yilan Winery (宜兰甲子兰酒文物馆), it shows the history of traditional wine making. Did not find the wine interesting but my niece and I found some hand make handicraft.(手工艺品）The biscuit with that molasses is very good. I had yet to try it. Those that had tried said it is good. From here we moved to our next destination. That is Yilan Traditional Art Centre.
Yilan Traditional Art Centre (宜兰传统术中心), this is quite an interesting place. You get all their local tribes arts here. I had a wonderful time here, we bought bracelets, earrings and phone-chains. We bought this magic Absorbent Coaster. This coaster when you place your cup or mug on it, if there is water at the bottom of the cup or mug it will absorb the water, leaving your desks dry and clean. It had beautiful picture on it too. Mom tried spinning the top, and she did it, after so many years she still had the magic there. My brother and I were super excited over it, especially me I was jumping up and down getting the others to clap too. I guess I was proud of my mom as others could not spin the top. We were not interested in the Chinese traditional show, to us it is boring.
That night we had dinner and check in at Shangri-la Boutique Hotel, for a small town like Yilan that Hotel or resort is consider 4 stars. After dinner, some went fishing, some wanted to dip in the hot spring. All was abandon. We end up watching the 8pm movie on chocolate. It was quite entertaining.
The next day we went to Yehliu Geopark (野柳地质公园) this is where the famous queen’s head and fairy shoes. It was very windy and cold.The tour guide took us to Danshui Oldtown and Fisherman’s Wharf( to watch the sunset. It was so cold and windy that all end up eating Ah Mah Fish Ball except me. The tour guide asked did you all saw the sunset, we said no but we saw Ah Mah Fish Ball, we had a good laugh.
Next day visit is nothing special, visited the home of Chiang Kai Shek, Miniatures Museum and Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall. I don’t find Taipei 101 Observation Deck special. We had to pay, while our Petronas Twin Tower we don’t have to. When we were at the Taipei 101 Observation Deck, the staff came to our tour guide saying there is special gift for guest that day. We were having high expectation on the gift, guess what it is. It is a bookmark, just a strip of paper with a Chinese painting on it. I guess better than nothing lah.
Things are very expensive at 101 malls and those malls around it. This is what I called branded. The whole mall is so classy. Luckily there is Giordano on Christmas sales, we got some pants. Did not walked away empty handed. I bought Aska Yang Star Start DVD concert. Had watched it, for a beginner it is good.Had been to Hong Kong, Taiwan and China, if you want to shop and eat it is better to go to Hong Kong. There is more to Malaysian taste bud. I still prefer shopping in China they have lots of their local brand which is not bad too.
This trip I learned a thing from niece, the luggage strip during check-in there is name on it. I thought only number, silly me.
Monday, December 15, 2008
December 2008 PC Fair
I had a good time today. This is the first time I went to PC Fair with my second brother’s children. I hope they had a good time too. Normally I would go with friends or my elder brother’s children or on my own.
This is the first time my niece and nephew goes to a PC Fair. We got ourselves quite a few items. They bought what they wanted, mouse, thumb-drive, ear phone and laptop fan. Myself thumb-drive, laptop fan, two one Gigabytes SD memory card and a W1Max broadband.
When I applied for the W1Max wireless broadband, they had a game where you go into a cubical and tried to get as much money as possible that was flying in the air. I got myself RM78 ringgit. I think I did a good job here but my niece and nephew had a good laugh.
We had or I had a good time bargaining. I learned quite a bit at the Fair, on the MP3, MP4 kind of thing. The Iphone is very expensive, near to RM3,000.00. The latest Desktop, that you can treat it as a laptop, just that it is slightly bigger than laptop or notebook. Laptops are getting smaller, my question is those with big hands will have a hard time at the keyboard. I know when I first used a laptop, my hands always get cramped because keyboard is small compared to a desktop’s keyboard.
The most interesting part for us or me, was not the computer merchandise but the free recycle bags that was given away. We saw people walking around with this P1 Intel recycle bag and bag comes in so many colours. After walking around and asking where they get it, we saw them distributing it. We quickly line up and get our free bags. I was very happy to have the recycle bag. It was at last we got our free recycle bag too like the others. Ha! I am so childish……..
We spend like about 5 hours at the Fair. On the way home we stopped at Starbuck to have our chocolate and mocha. Taking a taxi from KLCC will be difficult, not that there is no taxi but the taxi will not use the meter. We took the bus to Masjib Jamek and get our taxi from there. It was a first bus ride for my niece and nephew. I hope they find it interesting. I know they find it hard balancing themselves.
I am going to try my wireless broadband tomorrow. If it is good I am going to disconnect my streamyx and the fix phone line. I hope the service will be better than streamyx. Now with the competition coming in, I hope broadband will be cheap in future.
The next PC Fair I am going to get myself a MP4, would come in handy during meeting, recording Maharaj spiritual talks and during my travel. It should be cheaper than wah! Me so “Kiam Siap”(stingy) ha! Like one of my nephew said, already no money if not kiam siap lagi no money. I like what he said.
This is the first time my niece and nephew goes to a PC Fair. We got ourselves quite a few items. They bought what they wanted, mouse, thumb-drive, ear phone and laptop fan. Myself thumb-drive, laptop fan, two one Gigabytes SD memory card and a W1Max broadband.
When I applied for the W1Max wireless broadband, they had a game where you go into a cubical and tried to get as much money as possible that was flying in the air. I got myself RM78 ringgit. I think I did a good job here but my niece and nephew had a good laugh.
We had or I had a good time bargaining. I learned quite a bit at the Fair, on the MP3, MP4 kind of thing. The Iphone is very expensive, near to RM3,000.00. The latest Desktop, that you can treat it as a laptop, just that it is slightly bigger than laptop or notebook. Laptops are getting smaller, my question is those with big hands will have a hard time at the keyboard. I know when I first used a laptop, my hands always get cramped because keyboard is small compared to a desktop’s keyboard.
The most interesting part for us or me, was not the computer merchandise but the free recycle bags that was given away. We saw people walking around with this P1 Intel recycle bag and bag comes in so many colours. After walking around and asking where they get it, we saw them distributing it. We quickly line up and get our free bags. I was very happy to have the recycle bag. It was at last we got our free recycle bag too like the others. Ha! I am so childish……..
We spend like about 5 hours at the Fair. On the way home we stopped at Starbuck to have our chocolate and mocha. Taking a taxi from KLCC will be difficult, not that there is no taxi but the taxi will not use the meter. We took the bus to Masjib Jamek and get our taxi from there. It was a first bus ride for my niece and nephew. I hope they find it interesting. I know they find it hard balancing themselves.
I am going to try my wireless broadband tomorrow. If it is good I am going to disconnect my streamyx and the fix phone line. I hope the service will be better than streamyx. Now with the competition coming in, I hope broadband will be cheap in future.
The next PC Fair I am going to get myself a MP4, would come in handy during meeting, recording Maharaj spiritual talks and during my travel. It should be cheaper than wah! Me so “Kiam Siap”(stingy) ha! Like one of my nephew said, already no money if not kiam siap lagi no money. I like what he said.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
My Trips to Dad’s Birthplace, China（中国）
I have been to China 7 times including dad’s hometown. I remember about 10 years ago, I wanted to see China, my ancestor’s home country. So I booked my first trip to China, on MATTA fair.
The first was The Silk Road. I did not know where to start, so I decided to start from the west. It’s started from Urumqi（乌鲁木齐） and ends in Xian（西安）. But we departed from Chengdu Sichuan’s （成都，四川）airport for home. I can’t remember how many states we went but each day was a different state. So it should be about 8 to 9 states as it was a 12 days trip. Each state you can see the influence of the Arabs traders, that is the Islam religion. Some have more and some have less influence. Thru out the trip the most exciting part is the camel ride to the dessert sand dune, where you ski the sand hills. The most difficult part or most uncomfortable was the train ride to the next city thru out the night to cross the dessert. It was so dried. I had a bleeding nose the next morning when I tried to sneeze. I think most of us had, and water was running out especially the toilet. I don’t think I will go for another Silk Road tour again. If I do I will only visit Urumqi.
When we landed in Urumqi’s airport, I noticed besides the airport’s name in Chinese characters, it was also in Jawi. The announcement thru the intercom was announced in Mandarin (华语) and Russian language. I was like what language is that. Then the tour guide said, Urumqi is near to Russia’s border. Don’t think the place is very backward, to our surprised it’s very modern and clean compared to Kuala Lumpur.
I remember in a town (can’t remember which town) it was Mahgrid, you can see the Muslim leave their duty and run to the mosque for prayer once they hear the announcement thru the loud-speaker. Once it is finished they will run back to their work place.
This trip I saw the ending or the tail of The Great Wall of China (万里长城), here the step are smaller compared to The Great Wall of China in Beijing.
Those of you that want to see China should take this trip, The Silk Road. It is very different compare with east China. This trip is not meant for the old or those with high blood pressure.
Those days, digital camera was not invented so to post is to scan the photos, maybe later when I have time. Or digital camera was too expensive for me, should be too expensive for me.
Other part of China that I had been to is Beijing(北京). Here the only thing I find very special is The Great Wall of China(万里长城), others I find it interesting but not that special.
Next was Shanghai(上海). It is not solely Shanghai, the trip takes us to the neighbor town or state. I had been to this trip twice, once with my friend then with my mom. As mom had not been so I took her there.
Been here twice, I only find the Yellow Mountain (黄山) very breath taking. On the way up the scenery is exactly like the Chinese brush painting on mountains. It is so beautiful. When you are on top of the mountain, you can feel the freshness of the mountain air. Here every thing is man carried from the foot of the mountain to the top of the mountain. Pollution is kept to the minimum, hotel’s laundry are carried to the foot of the mountain for washing. Those that go to Shanghai trip should visit the Yellow Mountain, a beautiful place. It’s good to have strong legs, lots of climbing. If you don’t want to climb you can pay to be carried around.
Hainan Island(海南岛) and Shenzhen(深圳), I find nothing special, will not visit it again.
After so many trips to different part of China, I wanted to visit my dad’s hometown and see my aunties and uncle. Just wanted to see them, see how the province looks like. In 2007 last year, my dad’s friend was going back. Mom and me tagged along, as without his help locating my aunties and uncle will be difficult. My dad’s province is in Fujian (福建), a 4 hours drive from Xiamen (厦门).
My aunties and uncle are very old already. I am glad I get the chance to see them as I won’t know when my mom will want to go again. At least I had see them and called them aunties and uncle.
Houses in the province are much bigger than what we had in Malaysia. If you meet Chinese from China, when they said they are trying to build a house in their province. You should ask how big the house is. I enjoyed my stay there, but they keep calling us Malay.
Here are some pictures I had taken at the province.
The first was The Silk Road. I did not know where to start, so I decided to start from the west. It’s started from Urumqi（乌鲁木齐） and ends in Xian（西安）. But we departed from Chengdu Sichuan’s （成都，四川）airport for home. I can’t remember how many states we went but each day was a different state. So it should be about 8 to 9 states as it was a 12 days trip. Each state you can see the influence of the Arabs traders, that is the Islam religion. Some have more and some have less influence. Thru out the trip the most exciting part is the camel ride to the dessert sand dune, where you ski the sand hills. The most difficult part or most uncomfortable was the train ride to the next city thru out the night to cross the dessert. It was so dried. I had a bleeding nose the next morning when I tried to sneeze. I think most of us had, and water was running out especially the toilet. I don’t think I will go for another Silk Road tour again. If I do I will only visit Urumqi.
When we landed in Urumqi’s airport, I noticed besides the airport’s name in Chinese characters, it was also in Jawi. The announcement thru the intercom was announced in Mandarin (华语) and Russian language. I was like what language is that. Then the tour guide said, Urumqi is near to Russia’s border. Don’t think the place is very backward, to our surprised it’s very modern and clean compared to Kuala Lumpur.
I remember in a town (can’t remember which town) it was Mahgrid, you can see the Muslim leave their duty and run to the mosque for prayer once they hear the announcement thru the loud-speaker. Once it is finished they will run back to their work place.
This trip I saw the ending or the tail of The Great Wall of China (万里长城), here the step are smaller compared to The Great Wall of China in Beijing.
Those of you that want to see China should take this trip, The Silk Road. It is very different compare with east China. This trip is not meant for the old or those with high blood pressure.
Those days, digital camera was not invented so to post is to scan the photos, maybe later when I have time. Or digital camera was too expensive for me, should be too expensive for me.
Other part of China that I had been to is Beijing(北京). Here the only thing I find very special is The Great Wall of China(万里长城), others I find it interesting but not that special.
Next was Shanghai(上海). It is not solely Shanghai, the trip takes us to the neighbor town or state. I had been to this trip twice, once with my friend then with my mom. As mom had not been so I took her there.
Been here twice, I only find the Yellow Mountain (黄山) very breath taking. On the way up the scenery is exactly like the Chinese brush painting on mountains. It is so beautiful. When you are on top of the mountain, you can feel the freshness of the mountain air. Here every thing is man carried from the foot of the mountain to the top of the mountain. Pollution is kept to the minimum, hotel’s laundry are carried to the foot of the mountain for washing. Those that go to Shanghai trip should visit the Yellow Mountain, a beautiful place. It’s good to have strong legs, lots of climbing. If you don’t want to climb you can pay to be carried around.
Hainan Island(海南岛) and Shenzhen(深圳), I find nothing special, will not visit it again.
After so many trips to different part of China, I wanted to visit my dad’s hometown and see my aunties and uncle. Just wanted to see them, see how the province looks like. In 2007 last year, my dad’s friend was going back. Mom and me tagged along, as without his help locating my aunties and uncle will be difficult. My dad’s province is in Fujian (福建), a 4 hours drive from Xiamen (厦门).
My aunties and uncle are very old already. I am glad I get the chance to see them as I won’t know when my mom will want to go again. At least I had see them and called them aunties and uncle.
Houses in the province are much bigger than what we had in Malaysia. If you meet Chinese from China, when they said they are trying to build a house in their province. You should ask how big the house is. I enjoyed my stay there, but they keep calling us Malay.
Here are some pictures I had taken at the province.
星期一开始华语班 (Monday Starts Mandarin Class)
我 星 期 一 开 始 学 习 汉 语。老 师 会 来 家 教 我。这 会 比 较 快。我 就 得 这 几 个 月 我 的 汉 语 会 近 步。
(This Monday I am starting my Mandarin. The teacher will come to my house to teach. This will be faster to learn Mandarin. I feel these few months my Mandarin will improve)
这 是 我 的 第 一 个 华 语 blog. 我 希 望 讲 来 我 会 写 长 一 点 的 华 语 blog.
(This is my first Chinese blog. I hope in future I can write longer Chinese blog.)
(This Monday I am starting my Mandarin. The teacher will come to my house to teach. This will be faster to learn Mandarin. I feel these few months my Mandarin will improve)
这 是 我 的 第 一 个 华 语 blog. 我 希 望 讲 来 我 会 写 长 一 点 的 华 语 blog.
(This is my first Chinese blog. I hope in future I can write longer Chinese blog.)
Loss Out Because Don’t Read and Write Chinese 华语
Due to globalization, international firms that venture out of their countries, goes to China (中国) are looking for employee that know Chinese and English. So those that don’t know Chinese will loose out here.
I am bilingual, but the wrong combination, Bahasa Malaysia(马来语) and English(英语). If I choose to stay out of Chinese market then it is okay. If I want to go into Chinese market here I will loose out.
There are big giant companies looking for employees to fill the vacant positions in their project or company. So those who are bilingual the right combination will get the interview first, so wrong combination will always be second choice or no chance at all.
I loose out here as I did not get my interview straight away. My interview is about 2 month time when the interviewer comes home for his/her home trip. I was given this interview is because I showed her the confident in me.
There will be those who know Chinese but had not used it for a long time. They read but when it comes to writing or presenting it will be also a tedious task. Here the person might not want to take up the challenge.
With China emerging as an economic giant, being really good in English(英语) and Chinese(华语) is very useful. It opens up another opportunity. To tap this opportunity I must know English and Chinese. That is why I am giving myself 2 years to really pick this language up. I am getting myself a private tutor. Hopefully after 3 months I am able to raise my standard of Chinese from standard two to six. I should not give up so easily. Like I always tell my nephew when you play a computer game and not able to win the first time, tell yourself 我可以的(I can do it), give it a second try. I am telling myself the same thing我不会放弃。我可以的。(I will not give up. I can do it。)
I am bilingual, but the wrong combination, Bahasa Malaysia(马来语) and English(英语). If I choose to stay out of Chinese market then it is okay. If I want to go into Chinese market here I will loose out.
There are big giant companies looking for employees to fill the vacant positions in their project or company. So those who are bilingual the right combination will get the interview first, so wrong combination will always be second choice or no chance at all.
I loose out here as I did not get my interview straight away. My interview is about 2 month time when the interviewer comes home for his/her home trip. I was given this interview is because I showed her the confident in me.
There will be those who know Chinese but had not used it for a long time. They read but when it comes to writing or presenting it will be also a tedious task. Here the person might not want to take up the challenge.
With China emerging as an economic giant, being really good in English(英语) and Chinese(华语) is very useful. It opens up another opportunity. To tap this opportunity I must know English and Chinese. That is why I am giving myself 2 years to really pick this language up. I am getting myself a private tutor. Hopefully after 3 months I am able to raise my standard of Chinese from standard two to six. I should not give up so easily. Like I always tell my nephew when you play a computer game and not able to win the first time, tell yourself 我可以的(I can do it), give it a second try. I am telling myself the same thing我不会放弃。我可以的。(I will not give up. I can do it。)
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